"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."

Car, Time

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"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."

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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than a second car and another television set."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

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"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

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"The New Dealers have all left Washington to make way for the car dealers."

Adlai E. Stevenson, American Politician

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"I went to watch my father at Silverstone in the early 1950s, and I've still got the car he was in."

Nick Mason, British Musician

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"Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance."

Brian Tracy, American Author

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"I am so sick of reading about another car bomb, another suicide bomber, another 10, 20, 30, 70, 100 people dead in a day, both Americans and Iraqis."

Rosanne Cash, American Musician

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"A guy came to the shop every day. A lot of guys put the foam like stuff that forms to you, kinda like the Indy car guys run. He fitted it up and it felt real good, so we're going to try to run it."

Sterling Marlin, American Athlete

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"It wasn't a secret that I was gay. I'd come out to my parents during my junior year of high school, on the day that I also wrecked the family car."

Mary Cheney, American Celebrity

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Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."

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"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"

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"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."

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"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."

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"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

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"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."

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"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."

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"It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding."

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"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."

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"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up."

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