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Erma Bombeck

"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."

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"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."

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Donna Grant

"Laws, like houses, lean on one another."

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Donna Grant

"I go on expeditions for the same reason an estate agent sells houses - to pay the bills."

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Donna Grant

"Some members of both Houses have, it is true, been removed from their employments under the Crown; but were they ever told, either by me or by any other of his majesty's servants, that it was for opposing the measures of the administration in Parliament?"

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Donna Grant

"We have a maxim in the House of Commons, and written on the walls of our houses, that old ways are the safest and surest ways."

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Donna Grant

"Do you know how many houses all of the nonprofits have built? No more than 5,000 in five years. Do you know how many we lost? Two hundred thousand."

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Donna Grant

"All houses are haunted. All persons are haunted. Throngs of spirits follow us everywhere. We are never alone."

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Donna Grant

"Their houses are all built in the shape of tents, with very high chimneys."

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Donna Grant

"We are making the fundamental changes. It was like the decent housing target. We said by 2010, we'd have taken a million houses and refurbished them into decent housing."

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Donna Grant

"I've always been fascinated by numbers. Before I was seventeen years old, I had lived in twenty-one different houses. In my mind, each of those houses had a number."

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Donna Grant

"You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin."

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"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
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Erma Bombeck
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
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"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
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"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
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Erma Bombeck
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
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