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"Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you."
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"Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you."
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Personal Development
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"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."
Humor
"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Humor
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
Car
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
Woman
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
Woman
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
Emotional
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
Home
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."
Vacation
"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."
Society
"Written on her tombstone: 'I told you I was sick."
Humor
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