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Quotes by Comedian
"The sterile, arid environment created by truly jarring and discordant signage and gargantuan billboards is a turnoff."
34
"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?"
34
"Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again."
34
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
34
"We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience."
34
"Marty Richards is an angel on Earth. A producer that does what he says he'll do. He helped me greatly."
34
"We became Morris and Morecambe. This partnership did not last long, however."
34
"Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has."
34
"I do miss Saturday Night Live, that's for sure. There's nothing like it. I just hosted, and I felt I'd only been away for a week."
34
"I didn't realize House would be the central character, more the bitter comic relief appearing occasionally. I relish his wounded nature - the lameness, the scarred Byronic hero."
34
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
34
"Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical."
34
"Politics has less to do with where you live than where your heart is."
34
"People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something."
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"I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I'm just trying to create a good one for myself."
34
"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty."
34
"Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand."
34
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."
34
"Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me."
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"I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college."
34
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
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"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
34
"My act has always reflected what's going on in my life."
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"If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me."
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