"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Wife, Want, Years

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"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

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"My wife and two children traveled with me on locations all last season."

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Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend."

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"I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people."

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"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."

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"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."

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"My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

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"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."

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"Life is just a bowl of pits."

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"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."

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"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."

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"Men who do things without being told draw the most wages."

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