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P. J. O'Rourke

"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."

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"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."

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Donna Grant

"The really essential factors of success in any undertaking are money and opportunity, and as a rule, the man who can make the first can make the second."

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"Grub first, then ethics."

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"Over a lifetime of dealing with difficult women, I have learned it is often better to give into their demands immediately."

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Donna Grant

"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."

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Donna Grant

"It is better to be a pragmatist than a lunatic."

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"Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place."

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Donna Grant

"Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen."

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Donna Grant

"I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not."

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Donna Grant

"Pragmatism is good prevention for problems."

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"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
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"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
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"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."
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"Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly."
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"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
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"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
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"You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke."
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"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
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"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
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"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
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