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"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."
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"Over a lifetime of dealing with difficult women, I have learned it is often better to give into their demands immediately."
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Personal Development
"Sufism is, in operation, pragmatic."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We must consult our means rather than our wishes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Anything was better than nothing. Half-full was better than empty. Ignorance was the lowest form of humiliation and suffering."
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Personal Development
"The really essential factors of success in any undertaking are money and opportunity, and as a rule, the man who can make the first can make the second."
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Personal Development
"Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10."
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Personal Development
"Her philosophy was, if it had a pulse, it could be killed. I didn't really have a philosophy, but I could see how talking with the school director would be difficult for her. If he said something she didn't like, chopping him to tiny pieces wouldn't exactly help me get into the school."
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Personal Development
"Pragmatism is good prevention for problems."
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Personal Development
"Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen."
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Personal Development
"It is better to be a pragmatist than a lunatic."
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Personal Development
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"All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step."
Religion
"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."
Government
"There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list."
Awareness
"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."
Cows
"If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free."
Health
"Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment."
Health
"Seriousness is stupidity sent to college."
College
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it."
Politics
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Woman
"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
Will
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