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"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."
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"The really essential factors of success in any undertaking are money and opportunity, and as a rule, the man who can make the first can make the second."

"You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be."

"Over a lifetime of dealing with difficult women, I have learned it is often better to give into their demands immediately."

"Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically, that they know a lot. That is, they know one important thing: there is no evidence that head lice transmit disease."

"It is better to be a pragmatist than a lunatic."

"Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place."

"Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen."

"I used my history degree about twice a year whether I needed to or not."

"Pragmatism is good prevention for problems."
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."

"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
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