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"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."
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"You don't have to listen to those mean girls. They're just there to make you upset and make you feel bad about yourself. And you know, inside, they feel bad about themselves too. But they don't wanna admit it to anybody."
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Personal Development
"I would never describe Charlotte as a prude - maybe at the start, but that was in comparison to the other girls. She wasn't willing to do the stuff they were doing - and I mean, thank goodness!"
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Personal Development
"I think the reason they cast me as the good girls is because they couldn't find any in Hollywood."
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Personal Development
"I can't stand girls who laugh at everything I say like I'm the funniest guy in the world. I like girls who tell it like it is, no kissing up to me because I'm on TV."
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Personal Development
"There were a few 6th form girls that I got with when I was I the 6th form, they were really nice, so that was cool."
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Personal Development
"These two girls start wanting the same thing because in this neighborhood, they know all the guys so well. It's a small town and all the guys are just really boring to them."
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Personal Development
"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
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Personal Development
"I feel there should have been some recognition of the Spice Girls at this year's 25th anniversary. We flew the flag for Britain around the globe in the 1990s and we achieved a hell of a lot."
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Personal Development
"I think it's great when girls are artistic."
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Personal Development
"I used to flirt with girls just to get the guys circling around us. I'm getting out of it now. I have to look after my reputation."
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"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."
Girls
"I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!"
Baby
"No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago."
Choice
"A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing."
Thought
"What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary."
Belief
"I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women."
Woman
"As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room."
Change
"It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me."
Men
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