top of page
.png){kind=small}
"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."
Standard
Customized
More
"Photo shoots for underage girls are like letting an ant walk around with honey."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you think about it now, it's kind of ridiculous. All these hot girls on Baywatch in tiny little red bathing suits running around saving lives."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I got along better with the guys than with the girls. Only two girls came up to talk to me. Later I found out they were telling their boyfriends, 'If you talk to her, I'll kill you.' It's always rough with that high school thing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Now I know why guys like to hug girls. You guys just want to cop a feel. I can't believe that I've fallen for it all these years!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The girls want to see the rips on your stomach - they like that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm getting better now, but I used to be incredibly awkward with girls. I think any guy who says 'I've never had an awkward moment with a girl' is a liar."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I absolutely hate Take That, East 17, the Spice Girls."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm attracted to long-legged girls with long arms and a little head."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I can't do some of the songs that younger girls like Mary J. Blige and Beyonce are doing. They have their own place and I have my own place."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago."
Choice
"As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room."
Change
"It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me."
Men
"A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing."
Thought
"I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!"
Baby
"I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women."
Woman
"What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary."
Belief
"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."
Girls
bottom of page