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"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."
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"I try to parent equally, but I think little girls are a little more sensitive."
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Personal Development
"You eventually get used to looking at girls picking their leotards out of their bums and that sort of stuff."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Now I know why guys like to hug girls. You guys just want to cop a feel. I can't believe that I've fallen for it all these years!"
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Personal Development
"Only the mad girls chase me, I think."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There were a few 6th form girls that I got with when I was I the 6th form, they were really nice, so that was cool."
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Personal Development
"I've always felt so different from how I look. I meet so many pretty girls who are like, 'Here I am! Don't you want me because I look good?' That concept is so weird to me. I want to know, 'What else do you have going on?'"
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Personal Development
"My biggest problem in middle school was catty girls, cliques, and trying to figure out if I wanted to be a part of one of those, just figuring out who I was and all that."
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Personal Development
"You don't have to listen to those mean girls. They're just there to make you upset and make you feel bad about yourself. And you know, inside, they feel bad about themselves too. But they don't wanna admit it to anybody."
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Personal Development
"I'm getting better now, but I used to be incredibly awkward with girls. I think any guy who says 'I've never had an awkward moment with a girl' is a liar."
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"I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!"
Baby
"As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room."
Change
"A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing."
Thought
"Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works."
Girls
"It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me."
Men
"What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary."
Belief
"No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago."
Choice
"I tend to like very bitchy women. I find myself most attracted to smart, sarcastic, bitchy women."
Woman
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