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"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
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"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."
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Personal Development
"I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star."
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Personal Development
"Dread of night. Dread of not-night."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I try something new every night. It's an hour show; if it works I maybe try it a few more times and then move that off and try something new. It's a great workshop for me."
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Personal Development
"You noticed from last night, we only did two from the 80s. And our set's two hours long."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."
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Personal Development
"It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night."
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Personal Development
"So I'm trying to spread myself to the point to where I can do the night shows and not have to worry about the matinees, and do one or two matinees down through the year."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!"
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Personal Development
"I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired."
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"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
Wife
"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."
Beer
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
Love
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
Night
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
Time
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
Worth
"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks."
Love
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
Evil
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