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"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."

"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
Exlpore more Night quotes

"The night creeps in by subtle degrees while a show of fierce colors attracts and distracts me. I look up, suddenly aware of remote lights scattered overhead. I gasp as the last streak of fire dies on the horizon, and I comprehend it all too late. That crafty, dark night has swallowed my world whole."

"The night I announced I was getting married, Daddy paced for hours on the porch."

"I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything."

"Making sleep happen is a must - anytime, anywhere, from a plane to a train to an automobile. Ideally, I like to get eight to ten hours a night, though I'll take it broken up in two segments if I have to."

"The one thing I could do was voices and impersonations and weird characters, and there was really no call for that, except on Saturday Night Live."

"I was working at this club in downtown L.A. from four to eight at night, just Eddie Rubin, the drummer, and I."

"Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low."

"Yes, beef is what was for dinner last night. Tonight it will be my dinner, and it will continue to be."
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