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Emo Philips

"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"

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"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

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Asa Don Brown

"Gift the children corruption free nation. Happy Children's day."

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Asa Don Brown

"Children dwell in their dreams. Get them the wings and they'll fly."

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Asa Don Brown

"More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart " more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi " more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton."

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Asa Don Brown

"I was like one of those nauseatingly nice children. I was very, very well behaved and boring."

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Asa Don Brown

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

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Asa Don Brown

"Most children turn out badly because they have the wrong parental image. This doesn't mean their parents are criminal. It means they are boring and cruel."

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Asa Don Brown

"The first duty to children is to make them happy. If you have not made them so, you have wronged them. No other good they may get can make up for that."

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Asa Don Brown

"I want to get old gracefully. I want to have good posture, I want to be healthy and be an example to my children."

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Asa Don Brown

"I want the privilege of guiding the arrows of my children and giving them the exhortations that can shoot them into the high place."

Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

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Emo Philips
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
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Emo Philips
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
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Emo Philips
"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
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Emo Philips
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
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Emo Philips
"I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them."
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Emo Philips
"Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day."
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Emo Philips
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
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Emo Philips
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
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Emo Philips
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
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Emo Philips
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
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