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"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
Exlpore more Children quotes
"Revolution is like Saturn, it devours its own children."
"The status quo and the media is doing everything it can to fry children's brains and make them grow up maladjusted."
"Parents should watch what their children watch and not use TV as a babysitter. If a show is objectionable they should turn it OFF. They should write the president of the network and tell him they are never going to watch that program again and why."
"All the children in the school should learn the steps of everything, before they learn the thing, then they know which step they're doing better, because your voice is in certain steps and has to do most of the things that have been composed in those steps."
"Why, when I was a child, I didn't say, as most children do, that I was going to become an actress. I felt that I was an actress and no one could have convinced me that I wasn't!"
"One of the most important things we adults can do for young children is to model the kind of person we would like them to be."
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