Humor Quotes | Beyond Motive 12/37

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Humor Quotes

"Everybody trusts a guy in a raincoat. I don't know why. It's just one of those mystery facts."

"Everybody trusts a guy in a raincoat. I don't know why. It's just one of those mystery facts."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Trust, Mystery, People

2

"His jest shall savour but a shallow wit, when thousands more weep than did laugh it."

"His jest shall savour but a shallow wit, when thousands more weep than did laugh it."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Humor, Wit, Truth, Life, Happiness

2

"I think up until the point when we started in the business, which was in the early '70s, most of the humor was political. The smart humor was political satire."

"I think up until the point when we started in the business, which was in the early '70s, most of the humor was political. The smart humor was political satire."

David Zucker, American Director

Humor, Business, Satire

2

"French is the language that turns dirt into romance."

"French is the language that turns dirt into romance."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Romance, Language

2

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"

"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"

T. S. Eliot, American Poet

Humor, Curiosity, Individualism, Cat, Choice

2

"There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor."

"There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor."

H. L. Mencken, American Writer

Humor, Men, Man

2

"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."

"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society."

William Makepeace Thackeray, English Novelist

Humor, Society, Dress

2

"Republics are ungrateful."

"Republics are ungrateful."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Gratitude, Politics, Government, Discontent

2

"It's always funny that you can try and try again to steal all your critics' ammo, predict their responses, but no matter what, they'll still have a water gun stashed somewhere."

"It's always funny that you can try and try again to steal all your critics' ammo, predict their responses, but no matter what, they'll still have a water gun stashed somewhere."

Criss Jami, American Philosopher

Humor, Criticism, Persistence, Conflict

2

"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."

"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."

Max Eastman, American Author

Humor, Ability, Sense

2

"Strange to hear atheists say 'god' when having great sex."

"Strange to hear atheists say 'god' when having great sex."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author

Humor, Irony, Truth, Power, Today

2

"He looked like those paintings of baby angels - what do you call them, hubbubs? No cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park."

"He looked like those paintings of baby angels - what do you call them, hubbubs? No cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Appearance, Truth, Wisdom

2

"The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession."

"The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession."

Mark Twain, American Author

2

"If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire."

"If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Advice, Country, Fire

2

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Conscience, Memory, Forgetfulness

2

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."

"Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Party, Pity

2

"And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor."

"And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor."

Damon Wayans, American Comedian

Humor, Family, Key

2

"I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor."

"I really hate sitcoms on television with canned laughter and stuff. What really makes me laugh is the real-life stuff. I've got a dry sense of humor."

Katie Price, english Model

Humor, Hate, Laughter, Sense

2

"I'm not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humor. I'll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to."

"I'm not a traditional politician, and I have a sense of humor. I'll try to soften it and become boring, maybe even very boring, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to."

Silvio Berlusconi, Italian Statesman

2

"Adam lived 930 years. He never got to know his mother in law."

"Adam lived 930 years. He never got to know his mother in law."

Alin Sav, Romanian Author

Humor, Longevity, Life, Family

2

"Me: I am very busy now. Can you please excuse me for few minutes?She: Oh ok. But why are you sweating all over your body?Me: I am very busy, that is why. I am dreaming extra-large dreams."

"Me: I am very busy now. Can you please excuse me for few minutes?She: Oh ok. But why are you sweating all over your body?Me: I am very busy, that is why. I am dreaming extra-large dreams."

Israelmore Ayivor, Ghanaian Author

Humor, Dreams, Busy, Vision

2

"I haven't been to sleep for over a year. That's why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn't sleep."

"I haven't been to sleep for over a year. That's why I go to bed early. One needs more rest if one doesn't sleep."

Evelyn Waugh, English Author

Humor, Bed, Needs, Rest, Sleep

2

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

Irvin S. Cobb, American Journalist

2

"I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington."

"I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then I'll let my brother take over - like the Kennedys down in Washington."

Muhammad Ali, American Athlete

Humor, Brother, Washington, Years

2

"The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles."

"The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles."

Garrison Keillor, American Writer

2

"Wit is the lowest form of humor."

"Wit is the lowest form of humor."

Alexander Pope, English Poet

2

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, May, Ugly, Will

2

"There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor."

"There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor."

Thomas W. Higginson, American Clergyman

Humor, Defense, Fortune, Sense

2

"Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth."

"Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth."

Mark Van Doren, American Poet

Humor, Truth, Man, Nothing

2

"A boy is naturally full of humor."

"A boy is naturally full of humor."

Robert Powell, British Actor

2

"Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever."

"Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever."

Charles Lamb, English Critic

Humor, April, Fools, World

2

"Excellent, there's nothing quite like a blunt object to reinforce proper administration ethics."

"Excellent, there's nothing quite like a blunt object to reinforce proper administration ethics."

Simon Travaglia, Australian Author

Humor, Ethics, Nothing

2

"You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other."

"You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other."

Steve Irwin, Australian Scientist

2

"Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots."

"Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots."

Steve Allen, American Entertainer

2

"People come up to me as I leave the stage after a performance and tell me tey saw my mother onstage with me every time I sing. I keep a sense of humor about it."

"People come up to me as I leave the stage after a performance and tell me tey saw my mother onstage with me every time I sing. I keep a sense of humor about it."

Lorna Luft, American Actress

Humor, Time, Mother, People

2

"Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them."

"Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them."

John Lasseter, American Director

2

"Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh."

"Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh."

Denis Norden, English Writer

2

"The most interesting thing about a postage stamp is the persistence with which it sticks to its job."

"The most interesting thing about a postage stamp is the persistence with which it sticks to its job."

Napoleon Hill, American Writer

Humor, Job, Persistence

2

"I always thought the biggest failing of Americans was their lack of irony. They are very serious there! Naturally, there are exceptions... the Jewish, Italian, and Irish humor of the East Coast."

"I always thought the biggest failing of Americans was their lack of irony. They are very serious there! Naturally, there are exceptions... the Jewish, Italian, and Irish humor of the East Coast."

Colin Firth, British Actor

Humor, Thought, Americans, Irish

2

"A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game."

"A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Life, Relationship

2

"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."

"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."

Tom Walsh, American Celebrity

Humor, Society, Public, Results

2

"Find a priest who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin."

"Find a priest who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin."

Aristotle Onassis, Greek Businessman

2

"Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor."

"Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor."

Brittany Daniel, American Actress

2

"Golf is a good walk spoiled."

"Golf is a good walk spoiled."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Golf, Leisure, Activity

2

"Insult is powerful. Insult begets both rage and humor and often at the same time."

"Insult is powerful. Insult begets both rage and humor and often at the same time."

Suzanne Fields, American Columnist

Humor, Time, Insult

2

"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble."

"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble."

Sinclair Lewis, American Novelist

Humor, Being, Insults, Sense

2

"I'm a salami writer. I try to write good salami but salami is salami."

"I'm a salami writer. I try to write good salami but salami is salami."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Writing, Truth, Style

2

"He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting "All the Gods are bastards.""

"He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting "All the Gods are bastards.""

Terry Pratchett, English Author

2

"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life."

"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life."

William Arthur Ward, American Writer

Humor, Life, Balance, Sense

2

"My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings."

"My dog can bark like a congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings."

Gerald B. H. Solomon, American Politician

Humor, Play, Press

2

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