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"Find a priest who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin."
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"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."
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Personal Development
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."
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Personal Development
"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."
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Personal Development
"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
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"Southern DADDY-Dandy At Doin' Diapers Y'all!"
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Personal Development
"He is limp and damp and milder than the breath of a cow."
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"Find a priest who understands English and doesn't look like Rasputin."
Humor
"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
Motivational
"I have no friends and no enemies - only competitors."
Friendship
"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
Humor
"The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows."
Wisdom
"To succeed in business it is necessary to make others see things as you see them."
Leadership
"We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds."
Progress
"After a certain point, money is meaningless. It ceases to be the goal. The game is what counts."
Success
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