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"Me: I am very busy now. Can you please excuse me for few minutes?She: Oh ok. But why are you sweating all over your body?Me: I am very busy, that is why. I am dreaming extra-large dreams."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."
"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."
"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."
"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."
"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."
"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."
"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."
Explore more quotes by Israelmore Ayivor
"Do you feel like your action plans are stronger to than your capability? Just take a moment a draw a plan of how to deal with the difficult task with a single bite at each time. Go slow, but sure!"
"Service introduces you to the leadership throne. Service to mankind is the vision on which leadership is mounted. You serve and in your service, you train more leaders by becoming an example!"
"Take distinct steps and exploits. Those who are distinct and distinguished always score distinction. Go there, be there and stay there."
"When the thing that your heart strongly loves to do is the thing world hungers and thirsts to see done, then that's what you were called to do. You must never leave it undone!"
"You can't be a self-leader if you are an enemy to yourself. Stop the hatred and love yourself."
"On your way to accomplish greatness, you will hear a lot of noise. Listen to your inner voice and never let the distraction of the crowd discolour your poise."
"Maintain a belief system that admits that all things are possible for those responsible to have them done. It's nothing to deny; whenever God calls us for a responsibility, he give the ability for us to respond to that responsibility!"
"Money is not the priority. A step to dream big and planning of your dreams is a premier action that will see you through a start of your journey to success."
"Wishes and wants do not transform a person, actions and reactions do so! Show the world your plans by the actions you take progressively and consistently."
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