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"Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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"If you've been told all your life that you're good-looking, people just flock around you and you never really have to try or have to learn an interesting craft, skill or hobby - or even have depth."
Life

"Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor."
Humor

"I've been a vegetarian for so long, I forgot how much I missed meat. You know you don't realize how important meat is to you until you don't have it for long time."
Time

"It's kind of like Silence of the lambs meets Boogey Nights."
Silence

"More flirtatious than me. I couldn't work it like she did."
Work
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