"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"

Humor, Curiosity, Individualism, Cat, Choice

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"The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house.If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse.Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat -And there isn't any call for me to shout it:For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Calm, Reassurance, Fear

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Police, Interaction, Social

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Appearance, Opinion, Judgment

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

John Green, American Author

Humor, Personality, Identity, Education

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Funny, Houses, Road

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

Veronica Roth, American Author

Humor, Sun, Birds, Morning

"O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Humor, Truth, Life, Identity

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

Humor, Drama, Social, Behavior

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"I just don't- Ronan. My ears are bleeding!"Ronan turned down the music."

Maggie Stiefvater, American Author

Humor, Music, Pain, Friendship

Explore more quotes by T. S. Eliot

"Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome."

Time

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."

Beginning

"Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"

Life

"I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;Her coat is one of the tabby kind,with tiger stripes and lepard spots."

Animals

"For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting."

Spiritual

"You cannot face it steadily, but this thing is sure,That time is no healer: the patient is no longer here."

Reality

"Think neither fear nor courage saves us.Unnatural vices are fathered by our heroism. Virtues are forced upon us by our impudent crimes. These tears are shaken from the wrath-bearing tree."

Philosophy

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

"At this, Gansey rolled over onto his back and folded his hands on his chest. He wore a salmon polo shirt, which, in Blue's opinion, was far more hellish than anything they'd discussed to this point."

"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."

"I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses."

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

"O, that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass."

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"I just don't- Ronan. My ears are bleeding!"Ronan turned down the music."

Explore more quotes by T. S. Eliot

"Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome."

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."

"Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"

"For he will doAs he do doAnd there's no doing anything about it!"

"Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity."

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons."

"I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;Her coat is one of the tabby kind,with tiger stripes and lepard spots."

"For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting."

"You cannot face it steadily, but this thing is sure,That time is no healer: the patient is no longer here."

"Think neither fear nor courage saves us.Unnatural vices are fathered by our heroism. Virtues are forced upon us by our impudent crimes. These tears are shaken from the wrath-bearing tree."