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Irvin S. Cobb

"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

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"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

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Donna Grant

"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

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Donna Grant

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."

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Donna Grant

"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

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Donna Grant

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"

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Donna Grant

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

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Donna Grant

"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

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Donna Grant

"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

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Donna Grant

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

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Irvin S. Cobb
"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."

Humor

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Irvin S. Cobb
"A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't."

People

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Irvin S. Cobb
"As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid."

Work

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Irvin S. Cobb
"If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers."

Sense

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Irvin S. Cobb
"A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings."

Woman

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Irvin S. Cobb
"A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in."

Defence

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Irvin S. Cobb
"Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms."

Emotional

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Irvin S. Cobb
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

Hope

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