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"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."
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"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."
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Personal Development
"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."
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Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
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Personal Development
"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."
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Personal Development
"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress."
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Personal Development
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"Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn."
Humor
"If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers."
Sense
"Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms."
Emotional
"A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in."
Defence
"A good storyteller is a person with a good memory and hopes other people haven't."
People
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Hope
"As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid."
Work
"A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings."
Woman
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