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Damon Wayans

"And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor."

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"And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor."

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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

Explore more quotes by Damon Wayans

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Damon Wayans
"I never thought about being famous."
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Damon Wayans
"The less food, the more time to talk, the more to talk about."
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Damon Wayans
"I was 12 years old when I had my first job, delivering packages."
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Damon Wayans
"But my kids, my brothers' kids - they think about trying to top what we did."
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Damon Wayans
"Being a celebrity, I don't even have to talk."
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Damon Wayans
"The show has become my therapy."
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Damon Wayans
"My kids have a competitive drive I never had growing up."
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Damon Wayans
"Some struggle is healthy. If you can embrace it rather than be angry, you can use it as your pilot light."
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Damon Wayans
"My father is a Jehovah's Witness, and he raised us under a very strict hand."
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Damon Wayans
"We have four beautiful children and some wonderful memories."
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