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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you're brighter than a lightning bug, don't show your ass."
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Personal Development
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"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems - not people; to focus your energies on answers - not excuses."
Anger
"Wise are they who have learned these truths: Trouble is temporary. Time is tonic. Tribulation is a test tube."
Time
"We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys."
Kindness
"Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting."
Forgiveness
"A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life."
Humor
"A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition."
Optimism
"Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records."
Man
"Humanity either makes, or breeds, or tolerates all its afflictions."
Humanity
"A warm smile is the universal language of kindness."
Optimism
"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it."
Dream
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