"Adam lived 930 years. He never got to know his mother in law."

Humor, Longevity, Life, Family

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"Adam lived 930 years. He never got to know his mother in law."

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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Singing, Sadness, Voice

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Humor, Marriage, Fishing, Perspective

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, May, Ugly, Will

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"The difference between christians and non christians is not their sins, but their sens."

Religion

"The Gospel is the good news, not the grouse news. Preaching is not beating, it s informing in a christlike way."

Faith

"You can't be richer than your trust in your partners."

Trust

"Do not change your clothes, change your thoughts."

Mind

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

"I always try to cheer myself up by singing when i get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems."

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

"Looking for a wife is like fishing; before you go, make sure you don't have a hole in your net."

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

Explore more quotes by Alin Sav

"The difference between christians and non christians is not their sins, but their sens."

"You want to build a big business? Start with your character."

"Every time when somebody opens his heart to God, the big bang theory works."

"Wintertime is the best time of the year to get really fat."

"Don t make people feel necessarily happy. Make them feel useful."

"Dream big, but do not fall asleep."

"We do not influence through speaking that much, but by leading."

"The Gospel is the good news, not the grouse news. Preaching is not beating, it s informing in a christlike way."

"You can't be richer than your trust in your partners."

"Do not change your clothes, change your thoughts."