"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Today

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"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."

Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Humor, Identity, Confusion

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Laurie Halse Anderson, American Author

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"What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?"

Soren Kierkegaard, Danish Philosopher

Absurdity, Existence, Youth, Achievement

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Absurdity, Philosophy, Irony, Death

"Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works."

Sherman Alexie, American Writer

Absurdity, Death, Food, Ritual

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Irony, Wit

"Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?"

Thea Harrison, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Chaos, Authority, Rebellion

"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

Kenneth Eade, American Author

Absurdity, Irony, Justice, Identity, Humor

"You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet."

Lois Greiman, American Author

Absurdity, Irony, Violence, Reaction

"I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Hobbies, Nature, Observation, Life

Explore more quotes by Rick Riordan

"Leo grabbed the neasrest thing he could find- a Porta-Potty seat- and threw it at the face. Leve me alone!"

Conflict

"Us is my favorite people."

Companionship

"Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?""Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters."

Ambition

"Yeah, well, Nico said, "not giving people a second thought that can be dangerous."

Warning

"I think kids want the same thing from a book that adults want - a fast-paced story, characters worth caring about, humor, surprises, and mystery. A good book always keeps you asking questions, and makes you keep turning pages so you can find out the answers."

Books

"People can be creul,people can be mean, what they say about us is not true it makes it there opinion, and it doesnt mean thats how the rest of the world see's it."

Judgment

"Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!"

Fear

"I was pretty sure if I tried to sing, all I would cause was an avalanche."

Anxiety

"Don't die on me," she ordered. "You are not dying on me.""Yes, ma'am." He felt light-headed, but she was about the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her hair was smoldering. Her face was smudged with soot. She had a cut on her arm, her dress was torn, and she was missing a boot. Beautiful."

Beauty

"And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!"Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?""Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!""My figurine.""In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!""Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying."

Humor