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"I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on."
Wisdom
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth," the long out-of-print science fiction writer went on."
Creation
"There was a photograph of Trout. He was an old man with a full black beard. He looked like a frightened, aging Jesus, whose sentence to crucifixion had been commuted to imprisonment for life."
Appearance
"The brainless serenity of charwomen and janitors working late at night came over us. In a messy world we were at least making our little corner clean."
Peace
"The things other people have put into my head, at any rate, do not fit together nicely, are often useless and ugly, are out of proportion with one another, are out of proportion with life as it really is outside my head."
Reality
"Americans... are forever searching for love in forms it never takes, in places it can never be. It must have something to do with the vanished frontier."
Relationship
"Since Alice had never received any religious instruction, and since she had led a blameless life, she never thought of her awful luck as being anything but accidents in a very busy place. Good for her."
Fate
"If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off."
Humor
"Don't forget to wind the restricted clock and put the confidential cat out."
Mystery
"We're really awful animals. I mean, that dumb Barbra Streisand song, 'People who need people are the luckiest people in the world' - she's talking about cannibals. Lot's to eat."
Humanity
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"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy."
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Personal Development
"If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss."
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Personal Development
"Modern man must descend the spiral of his own absurdity to the lowest point; only then can he look beyond it. It is obviously impossible to get around it, jump over it, or simply avoid it."
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Personal Development
"He's got a can up there,' Richard said."
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Personal Development
"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."
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Personal Development
"Nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen. More Nothing. The Return of Nothing. Son of Nothing. Nothing Rides Again. Nothing and Abbot and Costello meet the Wolfman..."
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Personal Development
"Bursar?"Yes, Archchancellor?"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"Me? No, Archchancellor."Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head."
Author Name
Personal Development
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