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Kurt Vonnegut

"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."

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"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."

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Amber Hurdle

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

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Amber Hurdle

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

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Amber Hurdle

"What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

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Amber Hurdle

"Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works."

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Amber Hurdle

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

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Amber Hurdle

"Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

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Amber Hurdle

"You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet."

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Amber Hurdle

"I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it."

Explore more quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

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Kurt Vonnegut
"When a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moment, past, present, future, always have existed, always will exist."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"Do you realize that all great literature - "Moby Dick," "Huckleberry Finn," "A Farewell to Arms," "The Scarlet Letter," "The Red Badge of Courage," "The Iliad and The Odyssey," "Crime and Punishment," the Bible, and "The Charge of the Light Brigade" - are all about what a bummer it is to be a ...human being?"
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Kurt Vonnegut
"The highest possible form of treason," said Minton," is to say that Americans aren't loved wherever they go, whatever they do. Claire tried to make the point that American foreign policy should recognize hate rather than imagine love."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"Maturity, the way I understand it, is knowing what your limitations are."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"That, in my opinion, was the most diabolical aspect of those old time big brains. They would tell their owners, in effect, 'Here is a crazy thing we could actually do, probably, but we would never do it, of course, it's just fun to think about.'And then, as though in trances, the people would really do it-have slaves fight each other to the death in the Colosseum, or burn people to death in the public square for holding opinions which were locally unpopular, or build factories whose only purpose was to kill people in indistrial quantities, or to blow up whole cities, and on and on."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"I don't want to be a machine, and I don't want to think about war," EPICAC had written after Pat's and my lighthearted departure. "I want to be made out of protoplasm and last forever so Pat will love me. But fate has made me a machine. That is the only problem I cannot solve. That is the only problem I want to solve. I can't go on this way." I swallowed hard. "Good luck, my friend. Treat our Pat well. I am going to shortcircuit myself out of your lives forever. You will find on the remainder of this tape a modest wedding present from your friend, EPICAC."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"Dear Sir, poor sir, brave sir." he read, "You are an experiment by the Creator of the Universe. You are the only creature in the entire Universe who has free will. You are the only one who has to figure out what to do next - and why. Everybody else is a robot, a machine. Some persons seem to like you, and others seem to hate you, and you must wonder why. They are simply liking machines and hating machines. You are pooped and demoralized, " read Dwayne. "Why wouldn't you be? Of course it is exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"Perhaps some people really are born unhappy. I surely hope not. Speaking for my sister and myself: We were born with the capacity and determination to be utterly happy all the time. Perhaps even in this we were freaks. Hi ho."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"And God created every living creaturethat now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak.God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke.Man blinked. "What is the purpose of all this? he asked politely."Everything must have a purpose? asked God."Certainly, said man."Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this, said God. And Hewent away."
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Kurt Vonnegut
"People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God."
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