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"There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises."
Life
"Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death."
Survival
"The public thinks big, sensible, measured thoughts while people run around doing silly things."
Society
"But you can't just leave it at that!" said Anathema, pushing forward. "Think of all things you could do! Good things."Like what?" said Adam suspiciously."Well... you could bring all the whales back, to start with."He put his head on one side. "An' that'd stop people killing them?"She hesitated. It would have been nice to say yes."An' if people do start killing 'em, what would you ask me to do about 'em?" said Adam. "No. I reckon I'm getting the hang of this now. Once I start messing around like that, there'd be no stoppin' it. Seems to me, the only sensible thing is for people to know if they kill a whale, they've got a dead whale."
Ethics
"The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it."
Wisdom
"The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort."
Nature
"I'm trying to remember how you tell the time by looking at the sun." -"I should leave it for a while, it's too bright to see the numbers at the moment."
Humor
"Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.''Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl."
Change
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Humor
"Tiffany jumped when she saw a balloon sail up above the trees, catch the wind, and swoop away, but it turned out to be just a balloon and not a lump of excess Brian. She could tell this because it was followed by a long scream of rage mixed with a roar of complaint: "AAaargwannawannaaaagongongonaargggaaaaBLOON! which is the traditional sound of a very small child learning that with balloons, as with life itself, it is important to know when not to let go of the string. The whole point of balloons is to teach small children this."
Parenting
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"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's okay to be absurd, ridiculous, and downright irrational at times; silliness is sweet syrup that helps us swallow the bitter pills of life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Modern man must descend the spiral of his own absurdity to the lowest point; only then can he look beyond it. It is obviously impossible to get around it, jump over it, or simply avoid it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"He's got a can up there,' Richard said."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen. More Nothing. The Return of Nothing. Son of Nothing. Nothing Rides Again. Nothing and Abbot and Costello meet the Wolfman..."
Author Name
Personal Development
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