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"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait-is that not what we're talking about here?"
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"What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?"

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

"I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it."

"Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree."

"All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?"
Explore more quotes by Elle Lothlorien

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

"Okay then, I suppose you get a pass on poker intimidation for the glasses, little brother. But everyone else is wearing them at the tables too, and they're all just sitting there, looking all serious, like they're birthing the Grand Theory of Everything."

"Alice, you might be the product of the biggest ball of ignorance, confidence, and good fortune the universe has ever manufactured. But if you're thinking that you can take your results at the virtual tables and your grand tactic of Ignorance Is Bliss, and make that work for the Main Event, forget it-it WON'T."

"Oh, and Mr. Montgomery? I think I counted about four dozen important-sounding words and almost no substance at all in that explanation. I don't think you should close the door on your diplomatic career entirely."

"You know what Munny said to me, right before we left? She said, 'Watching someone die is hard work. Go to Australia and watch Faye fall in love with some dude named Rabbit. That should be fun."

"Did you think your boyfriend was going to stick around and watch you do THAT? If we weren't related, I would've left too. Actually—is it already too late for me to leave?"

"I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal."
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