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"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait-is that not what we're talking about here?"
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"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."
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Personal Development
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"
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Personal Development
"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."
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Personal Development
"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."
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Personal Development
"Dangerous as a lightning strike, as lethal as a pair of crisscrossing short swords, William whispered, "You're about to find out how your liver tastes, my friend."I have tasted it already, Zacharel said, his voice its usual monotone. The snowflakes began to fall in earnest, tiny at first, but growing in diameter. An arctic wind blustered around him. "It was a bit salty.How the hell was a guy supposed to respond to that?Apparently William didn't know, either, because he gaped at the angel. Then, "Maybe if you added a little pepper?O-kay. It was official. William had an answer for everything."
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Personal Development
"I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister."
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Personal Development
"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."
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Personal Development
"It's okay to be absurd, ridiculous, and downright irrational at times; silliness is sweet syrup that helps us swallow the bitter pills of life."
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Personal Development
"Only by living absurdly is it possible to break out of this infinite absurdity."
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Personal Development
"To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."
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"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
Party
"Just keep it simple, Alice Faye. Remember how you taught yourself. Nothing's different just because you're on a yacht, or wearing a fancy dress. Or because you appear to have dropped acid and are now in the mirror room at the fun house."
Simplicity
"I don't think I heard the same ending you did. Maybe you should tell it again."
Misunderstanding
"Alice, winning means manipulation. It means taking people-people who may have helped you in the past, even people you care about-and using them without hesitation or regret. It means making decisions that would be viewed by any normal-thinking human being as cynical at best and dishonorable at worst."
Power
"Who are you? Rabbit and Souris call you 'Alice,' me and Dee call you 'Faye.' I just didn't know if 'Alice' was your poker-playing, Southern Hemisphere name or what. Hey, I'm just trying to fit in here. If I should be introducing myself as 'Clark,' I want to know about it sooner rather than later so I don't embarrass myself."
Identity
"Well, Faye, dear, I'm sure Harlow's sorry she didn't think to ask if you'd been eaten by a shark. That's totally on her."
Sarcasm
"Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It's not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should've kept that bell collar on her-because those poor birds never even saw her coming."
Cat
"And just so you know-that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you're going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right."
Blame
"I like it because when people use a lot of poker lingo, it usually means they've been playing the game for a while. Which is why I immediately avoid those people."
Social
"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
Social
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