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"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait-is that not what we're talking about here?"
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"He was dead. However, his nose throbbed painfully, which he thought odd in the circumstances."
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Personal Development
"Bursar?"Yes, Archchancellor?"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"Me? No, Archchancellor."Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head."
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Personal Development
"It was an awkward moment. We were burning down our host's house, a situation which any guest seeks to avoid."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
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Personal Development
"You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?"
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Personal Development
"I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait-is that not what we're talking about here?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Only by living absurdly is it possible to break out of this infinite absurdity."
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Personal Development
"All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree."
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"I am commanding you, as an older and wiser brother, to get over here, get on this caterpillar, and ride to the top of this mushroom with me."
Friendship
"Souris says you wanted to see me, so here I am. Talk quick before I decide to beat the shit out of you and throw your bloody carcass back across the International Date Line."
Humor
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
Comedy
"And just so you know-that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you're going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right."
Blame
"So, while we're sitting here on this luxury yacht enjoying our bread and water, why doesn't someone tell me the plan?"
Lifestyle
"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
Social
"Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal-all those places perfect for dying of exposure."
Survival
"The words 'drink me' come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?"
Humor
"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"
Humor
"I don't know what this is for anyway. I mean, let me tell you what I'm never going to say to any human being, ever: 'I had hunting season off-suit in the pocket, but I've had kicker trouble with that hand often enough to fold it."
Humor
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