top of page
.png){kind=small}
"The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Absurdity quotes
"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."
"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."
"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."
"We must content ourselves with the mystery, the absurdity, the contradictions, the hostility, but also the generosity that our environment offers us. It's not much, but it's always better than the deadly, defeatist certainty of the paranoid."
"In some warped way, having an embalmed body with us made perfect sense."
Explore more quotes by Jasper Fforde
"So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an interesting mix."
"But that was what research and development were like. Full of semi-triumphs and perplexing unforeseen consequences like the whole violent hiccuping thing when conjuring up fire - or the propensity for fillings to fall out of bystanders' teeth when attempting to tease a rainstorm out of a cloud."
"Vanity's contribution to Fiction in general was an abundance of cheap labour and the occasional blockbuster, which was accepted into Fiction with an apologetic 'gosh, don't know how that happened'."
"Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature."
"I hope that in my books there's an undertone of politics, basic tenets of how we should live."
"When she turned I could see her face was plain and outwardly unremarkable, yet possessing of a bearing that showed inner strength and resolve. I stared at her intently with a mixture of feelings. I had realised not long ago that I was no beauty, and even at the age of nine had seen how the more attractive children gained favour more easily. But here in that young woman I could see how those principles could be inverted. I felt myself stand more upright and clench my jaw in subconscious mimicry of her pose."
"Pretty?' I said, swivelling in the driver's seat to face him, 'you want to ask me out because I'm pretty?' 'Is there a problem with asking you out because you're pretty?' 'I think you blew it,' said Tiger with a grin. 'You should be asking her out because she's smart, witty, mature beyond her years and every moment in her company makes you want to be a better person - pretty of face should be at the bottom of the list.' 'Oh, blast,' said Perkins despondently. 'It should, shouldn't it?"
"Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms-of life, of love, of knowledge-has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath."
bottom of page