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"The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable."
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"He was dead. However, his nose throbbed painfully, which he thought odd in the circumstances."
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Personal Development
"Bursar?"Yes, Archchancellor?"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"Me? No, Archchancellor."Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head."
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Personal Development
"It was an awkward moment. We were burning down our host's house, a situation which any guest seeks to avoid."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
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Personal Development
"You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?"
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Personal Development
"In some warped way, having an embalmed body with us made perfect sense."
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Personal Development
"I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister."
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Personal Development
"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait-is that not what we're talking about here?"
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Personal Development
"Only by living absurdly is it possible to break out of this infinite absurdity."
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"True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is..."
Morality
"She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe."
Identity
"I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecting thoughts into people's heads from a distance--I didn't know whether I actually liked him or he was just suggesting I like him, which was both creepy and unethical. In fact, the whole Remote Suggestion or "seeding" idea had been banned once it was discovered to be the key ingredient in promoting talent less boy bands, which had until then been something of a mystery."
Ethics
"In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash."
Silence
"Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this--in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer--and at your hands."
Conflict
"There's more to good or bad than what's written in the Rulebook."
Ethics
"Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics, nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed."
Corruption
"Honor is kind of what you get when you weaponize manners."
Respect
"So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an interesting mix."
Humor
"If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution."
Reality
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