"Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree."

Absurdity, Danger, Humor, Perspective

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"Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree."

Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Humor, Identity, Confusion

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Absurdity, Philosophy, Irony, Death

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Laurie Halse Anderson, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Performance

"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."

R. Alan Woods, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Stereotype, Sarcasm

"To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."

Lewis Carroll, English Author

Absurdity, Expectation, Wonder, Change

"What's with the serum?"I don't know, but it sounds ominous. We better put a telepathic direction finder on Benway. The man's not to be trusted. Might do almost anything...Turn a massacre into a sex orgy..."Or a joke."Precisely. Arty type...No principles..."

William S. Burroughs, American Writer

Absurdity, Chaos, Distrust, Uncertainty

"If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that."

John Cusack, American Actor

Absurdity, Criticism, Satire

"I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss."

Stephen King, American Author

Absurdity, Truth, Humor, Power, Today

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist."

Christopher Paolini, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Magic, Imagination

"We must content ourselves with the mystery, the absurdity, the contradictions, the hostility, but also the generosity that our environment offers us. It's not much, but it's always better than the deadly, defeatist certainty of the paranoid."

Philip K. Dick, American Writer

Absurdity, Mystery, Environment, Contradiction

Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass."

Consequences

"Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same."

Prudence

"In the beginning God made the seas, the mountains, the heavens, and buffalo knees. He made lilies, and dew drops, and snail shells, and roses, and dippers, and yappers, and snappers, and noses."

Creation

"Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing."

Sexuality

"When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all."

Aging

"Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so."

Mortality

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Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."

"To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."

"What's with the serum?"I don't know, but it sounds ominous. We better put a telepathic direction finder on Benway. The man's not to be trusted. Might do almost anything...Turn a massacre into a sex orgy..."Or a joke."Precisely. Arty type...No principles..."

"If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that."

"I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss."

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist."

"We must content ourselves with the mystery, the absurdity, the contradictions, the hostility, but also the generosity that our environment offers us. It's not much, but it's always better than the deadly, defeatist certainty of the paranoid."

Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

"Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass."

"Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same."

"In the beginning God made the seas, the mountains, the heavens, and buffalo knees. He made lilies, and dew drops, and snail shells, and roses, and dippers, and yappers, and snappers, and noses."

"Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing."

"When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all."

"I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on."

"A person without regrets is called a corpse."

"Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either."

"Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack."

"Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so."