"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."

Absurdity, Humor, Stereotype, Sarcasm

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"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."

Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"It was an odd situation. For a century and a half, men got rid of their own hair, which was perfectly comfortable, and instead covered their heads with something foreign and uncomfortable. Very often it was actually their own hair made into a wig. People who couldn't afford wigs tried to make their hair look like a wig."

Bill Bryson, American Writer

Absurdity, Fashion, Tradition, Irony

"The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to."

David Lynch, American Director

Absurdity,

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Humor, Identity, Confusion

"Dangerous as a lightning strike, as lethal as a pair of crisscrossing short swords, William whispered, "You're about to find out how your liver tastes, my friend."I have tasted it already, Zacharel said, his voice its usual monotone. The snowflakes began to fall in earnest, tiny at first, but growing in diameter. An arctic wind blustered around him. "It was a bit salty.How the hell was a guy supposed to respond to that?Apparently William didn't know, either, because he gaped at the angel. Then, "Maybe if you added a little pepper?O-kay. It was official. William had an answer for everything."

Gena Showalter, American Novelist

Absurdity, Humor, Violence, Dialogue

"Bursar?"Yes, Archchancellor?"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"Me? No, Archchancellor."Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Power

"Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Power, Today

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Laurie Halse Anderson, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Performance

"If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him."

Alan Moore, British Writer

Absurdity, Love, Sacrifice, Extreme, Irony

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Absurdity, Philosophy, Irony, Death

"What's with the serum?"I don't know, but it sounds ominous. We better put a telepathic direction finder on Benway. The man's not to be trusted. Might do almost anything...Turn a massacre into a sex orgy..."Or a joke."Precisely. Arty type...No principles..."

William S. Burroughs, American Writer

Absurdity, Chaos, Distrust, Uncertainty

Explore more quotes by R. Alan Woods

"I do not politicize Christianity nor my discipleship as Jesus did not politicize either His divinity nor his humanity."

Religion

"When we give our heartbreak to God, he fashions it into a softer and even more loving heart."

Faith

"Trust is developed under pressure and over time; just as with God by us."

Trust

"I have been fairly misunderstood by those who think only of the heart and thereby leave the mind behind. They both are vital and important aspects of our created humanity...in the image of God."

Balance

"The more we spend our time 'practicing the presence' of Jesus, the more we become like Him."

Spiritual

"God has given all of us both the mind and the heart. And He fully expects us to use them."

Philosophy

"My life is an open book; at least this photo album."

Memory

"The free-will of man cannot impune the sovereignty of God, and conversely the sovereignty of God would not impune the free-will of men."

Spiritual

"Jesus said, 'Enter into My rest' and let God do what He does best."

Spiritual

"Faith without reason produces a mindless Christianity which is less than useless; the focus on justice in this world produces a theology that chases its own tail."

Faith