"So, you invite a wild rabbit living in Italy to a party on the island of Crete. What's it supposed to do, swim there? Its little tux would get wet."

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Happiness

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"So, you invite a wild rabbit living in Italy to a party on the island of Crete. What's it supposed to do, swim there? Its little tux would get wet."

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"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

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"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

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"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

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"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

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"Down, boy! Couchant! I said couchant! No! Not rampant!"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"It was like being at an Arabian hoedown with a band of psychedelic hillbillies (p. 171)."

Patti Smith, American Musician

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"If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him."

Alan Moore, British Writer

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"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

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"You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?"

Nalini Singh, New Zealander Author

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"No people find each other more absurd than lovers."

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Explore more quotes by Rick Riordan

"I know you'll do what's best for Annabeth.""How can you be sure?""Because she'd do the same for you."

Trust

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

Humor

"Even from far away, I could see people being chased by hellhounds, burned at the stake, forced to run naked through cactus patches or listen to opera music."

Danger

"The plan had three phases: dangerous, really dangerous and insanely dangerous."

Danger

"Whenever he felt like giving up, plopping himself down, and dying (which was, like, every ten minutes), he reached over and took her hand, just to remember there was warmth in the world."

Connection

"Travis: The Aphrodite kids were ripping each other's clothes and throwing lipstick and jewellery. It was like a rabid herd of wild Bratz."

Chaos

"Stars," she whispered. "I can see the stars again, my lady."A tear trickled down Artemis's cheek. "Yes, my brave one. They are beautiful tonight."Stars," Zoe repeated. Her eyes fixed on the night sky. And she did not move again."

Nature

"I couldn't miss Percy's fifteenth birthday, Poseidon said. "Why, if this were Sparta, Percy would be a man today!"That's true, Paul said. "I used to teach ancient history.Poseidon's eyes twinkled. "That's me. Ancient history."

History

"You'll do well, Percy. Just remember your strengths and beware your weaknesses."

Strength

"It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up."

Respect