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"All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?"
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Exlpore more Absurdity quotes
"Perhaps after all she put me in her rectum. A matter of complete indifference to me, I needn't tell you. But is it true love, in the rectum? That's what bothers me sometimes. Have I never known true love, after all?"
"It was an odd situation. For a century and a half, men got rid of their own hair, which was perfectly comfortable, and instead covered their heads with something foreign and uncomfortable. Very often it was actually their own hair made into a wig. People who couldn't afford wigs tried to make their hair look like a wig."
"It's okay to be absurd, ridiculous, and downright irrational at times; silliness is sweet syrup that helps us swallow the bitter pills of life."
"To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."
Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore
"I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck."
"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."
"Rivera rubbed his temples. 'Satan told you to do it?' he said wearily.'No.''Elvis?''I told you, it's supernatural."
"She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species."
"I'm feeling full of tiny princes, bustling to get out into the world and start plotting against one another."
"Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate."
"Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter."
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