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Comedy Quotes

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"Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons."
Todd Barry
"Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons."
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"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."
Todd Barry
"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."
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"Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd."
Trey Parker
"Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd."
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"I started writing this feature comedy in New York - a Chris Farley vehicle. The script was decent. When I got to LA, I met some new friends in film school and had them read my script and give me notes."
David Steinberg
"I started writing this feature comedy in New York - a Chris Farley vehicle. The script was decent. When I got to LA, I met some new friends in film school and had them read my script and give me notes."
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"I don't do comedy so much although I would like to do a comedy."
Aaron Eckhart
"I don't do comedy so much although I would like to do a comedy."
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"About 25 years ago, I was in an apartment, and next door, they put on the radio, so I struck the wall with my fist, but they did not put the radio down. I took a tool and banged until I made a hole through the wall. It was like a comedy movie."
Klaus Kinski
"About 25 years ago, I was in an apartment, and next door, they put on the radio, so I struck the wall with my fist, but they did not put the radio down. I took a tool and banged until I made a hole through the wall. It was like a comedy movie."
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"Avoiding humiliation is the core of tragedy and comedy."
John Guare
"Avoiding humiliation is the core of tragedy and comedy."
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"I consider myself a serious musician. Doing a comedy show does not take away from that in any way."
Kevin Eubanks
"I consider myself a serious musician. Doing a comedy show does not take away from that in any way."
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"I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage."
Todd Barry
"I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage."
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"And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy."
Robert Klein
"And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy."
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"Are you all right? he asked Olivia. His heart was still racing with terror that she'd been hurt. "I heard a woman scream."Ah, that would have been me, Sebastian said.Harry looked down on his cousin, face frozen in disbelief. "You made that noise?"It hurt, Sebastian bit off.Harry fought not to laugh. "You scream like a leettle girl."
Julia Quinn
"Are you all right? he asked Olivia. His heart was still racing with terror that she'd been hurt. "I heard a woman scream."Ah, that would have been me, Sebastian said.Harry looked down on his cousin, face frozen in disbelief. "You made that noise?"It hurt, Sebastian bit off.Harry fought not to laugh. "You scream like a leettle girl."
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"Jules lips quivered, and I feared she was about to cry. Then she asked, 'He bit off more than he could chew, didn't he? She made a motion as if she was biting into a tough piece of steak.Gabriella's lips sealed shut as she tried to hide her grin, though she failed at it when Andrew asked, 'Was he eating? He turned desperately to Gabriella, confused.Jules wasn't about to cry, she was trying not to laugh! She giggled then, the sound tinkling and odd in the outlandish setting.Andrew straightened and shook his head at Gabriella. 'Did you see him eat?"
Laura Kreitzer
"Jules lips quivered, and I feared she was about to cry. Then she asked, 'He bit off more than he could chew, didn't he? She made a motion as if she was biting into a tough piece of steak.Gabriella's lips sealed shut as she tried to hide her grin, though she failed at it when Andrew asked, 'Was he eating? He turned desperately to Gabriella, confused.Jules wasn't about to cry, she was trying not to laugh! She giggled then, the sound tinkling and odd in the outlandish setting.Andrew straightened and shook his head at Gabriella. 'Did you see him eat?"
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"It's a director's job to tell a story and he's very well versed in telling stories with a bit of comedy in them and keeping the pace of the movie right and that's exactly what he did. He was observant of a world he didn't understand but he told a wonderful story."
Cuba Gooding, Jr.
"It's a director's job to tell a story and he's very well versed in telling stories with a bit of comedy in them and keeping the pace of the movie right and that's exactly what he did. He was observant of a world he didn't understand but he told a wonderful story."
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"Strangely, Dante's Divine Comedy did not produce a prose of that creative height or it did so after centuries."
Eugenio Montale
"Strangely, Dante's Divine Comedy did not produce a prose of that creative height or it did so after centuries."
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"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
Don Martin
"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
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"I've played comedy before but not that much. I mostly do get drawn to darker material."
Natasha Richardson
"I've played comedy before but not that much. I mostly do get drawn to darker material."
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"I'm trying to make sure that there's comedy as well as sadness. It makes the sadness more memorable."
Rick Moody
"I'm trying to make sure that there's comedy as well as sadness. It makes the sadness more memorable."
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"Harpo Marx looks like a musical comedy."
Walter Kerr
"Harpo Marx looks like a musical comedy."
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"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
Desi Arnaz
"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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"I think I've only done one horror movie, Psycho III. That was a walk in the park compared to a romantic comedy."
Carter Burwell
"I think I've only done one horror movie, Psycho III. That was a walk in the park compared to a romantic comedy."
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"Good comedy is ageless."
Ted Levine
"Good comedy is ageless."
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"I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed."
Carl Reiner
"I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed."
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"I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force."
Sinbad
"I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force."
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"I enjoy doing everything, comedy and drama. I just look for the characters really and what they offer."
Chiwetel Ejiofor
"I enjoy doing everything, comedy and drama. I just look for the characters really and what they offer."
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"We are in desperate need of a well-done romantic lesbian comedy."
Jill Bennett
"We are in desperate need of a well-done romantic lesbian comedy."
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"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie."
Janet Evanovich
"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie."
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"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."
Wendy Wasserstein
"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."
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"With comedy I can search for the profound."
Dario Fo
"With comedy I can search for the profound."
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"Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory."
Brooks Hays
"Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory."
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"The radio was my big influence. Comedy came from the instinctual feel I had for language."
Dominic Chianese
"The radio was my big influence. Comedy came from the instinctual feel I had for language."
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"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
Paul Putner
"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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"My favorite laser disk ever was the laser disk for The Graduate, which had a commentary track that wasn't even the filmmakers, it was a professor, some film criticism guy who just happen to be this amazing commentator who went off into the whole theory of comedy."
Jay Roach
"My favorite laser disk ever was the laser disk for The Graduate, which had a commentary track that wasn't even the filmmakers, it was a professor, some film criticism guy who just happen to be this amazing commentator who went off into the whole theory of comedy."
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"Hey, I see people manacled to log walls all the time. You bet. It's a popular sport in Bear Flat. Gonna replace fishing soon."
Cherise Sinclair
"Hey, I see people manacled to log walls all the time. You bet. It's a popular sport in Bear Flat. Gonna replace fishing soon."
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"I considered the years in Hollywood nothing but an interim. What I always wanted was to be was a musical comedy star."
Arlene Dahl
"I considered the years in Hollywood nothing but an interim. What I always wanted was to be was a musical comedy star."
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"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue."
Woody Allen
"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue."
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"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."
Gena Showalter
"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."
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"I'm not your boyfriend! I snapped, trying to gently move her hands away from my body.'How can you say that? Sara asked in horror.'It's shockingly effortless, I replied. 'My vocal chords vibrate, and my mouth and tongue articulate. I can even do it without thinking. I had to remind myself to stay calm, and sarcasm was the best way to do that.'When are you going to give me a key to your house so I don't have to knock like some guest? Sara asked, coming at me again.I backed away. 'How about never? Is never good for you?Sara, undeterred, said, 'You're the reason I go to therapy on Fridays.'The plot thickens! Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief."
Laura Kreitzer
"I'm not your boyfriend! I snapped, trying to gently move her hands away from my body.'How can you say that? Sara asked in horror.'It's shockingly effortless, I replied. 'My vocal chords vibrate, and my mouth and tongue articulate. I can even do it without thinking. I had to remind myself to stay calm, and sarcasm was the best way to do that.'When are you going to give me a key to your house so I don't have to knock like some guest? Sara asked, coming at me again.I backed away. 'How about never? Is never good for you?Sara, undeterred, said, 'You're the reason I go to therapy on Fridays.'The plot thickens! Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief."
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"We're enveloped in pitch black. 'Wait here,' I whisper.'Are you getting your ax?'Handcuffs.'Kinky. But, okay, I'll try it."
Stephanie Perkins
"We're enveloped in pitch black. 'Wait here,' I whisper.'Are you getting your ax?'Handcuffs.'Kinky. But, okay, I'll try it."
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"It's okay. I'm-'Fine? Joseph chimed in. 'Obviously not. You need to be checked out by a doctor. 'I am a doctor. I rolled my eyes at him, but that didn't deter him from his train of thought. 'Not that kind of doctor.'What is 'that kind of doctor' going to say when they see my shimmering pink blood, Joseph? I changed my voice to mimic one of a concerned doctor. 'I'm sorry ma'am, you appear to be suffering from a mild case of Pretty Pretty Princess syndrome. Have you ingested any magical woodland faeries recently?"
Laura Kreitzer
"It's okay. I'm-'Fine? Joseph chimed in. 'Obviously not. You need to be checked out by a doctor. 'I am a doctor. I rolled my eyes at him, but that didn't deter him from his train of thought. 'Not that kind of doctor.'What is 'that kind of doctor' going to say when they see my shimmering pink blood, Joseph? I changed my voice to mimic one of a concerned doctor. 'I'm sorry ma'am, you appear to be suffering from a mild case of Pretty Pretty Princess syndrome. Have you ingested any magical woodland faeries recently?"
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"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
Elle Lothlorien
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
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"I get out of the car, and I'm blasted by the stench of body odor. Cricket is beside me, and he's talking, but his words don't reach my ears.Because it's my mother.Smelling.On my porch."
Stephanie Perkins
"I get out of the car, and I'm blasted by the stench of body odor. Cricket is beside me, and he's talking, but his words don't reach my ears.Because it's my mother.Smelling.On my porch."
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"When the nurse leaves, Doctor Rose mouths, 'Act like you're in pain. Then she mimics a painful expression in case Summer doesn't understand. On the contrary, Summer's an expert at interpreting body language and reading lips. It's all thanks to her observant nature while enslaved on the Cosmos. Who else could tell that Peter's discomfort is due to him wearing the same pair of underwear for a week straight? Ah, yes, she always knew when day six and seven approached. She watched the crew member with much amusement as he waddled, pulled wedgies, and scratched his bum relentlessly. Not that anyone else cared to know that little nugget of information."
Laura Kreitzer
"When the nurse leaves, Doctor Rose mouths, 'Act like you're in pain. Then she mimics a painful expression in case Summer doesn't understand. On the contrary, Summer's an expert at interpreting body language and reading lips. It's all thanks to her observant nature while enslaved on the Cosmos. Who else could tell that Peter's discomfort is due to him wearing the same pair of underwear for a week straight? Ah, yes, she always knew when day six and seven approached. She watched the crew member with much amusement as he waddled, pulled wedgies, and scratched his bum relentlessly. Not that anyone else cared to know that little nugget of information."
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"He's sort of a homeless horse, I said.'I'm leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won't be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don't want that horse in my apartment.'Who would put a horse in an apartment? That's dumb.'Where's the horse staying now?'My apartment.'I can always count on you to brighten my day, Ranger said. And he disconnected."
Janet Evanovich
"He's sort of a homeless horse, I said.'I'm leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won't be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don't want that horse in my apartment.'Who would put a horse in an apartment? That's dumb.'Where's the horse staying now?'My apartment.'I can always count on you to brighten my day, Ranger said. And he disconnected."
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"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
Rick Riordan
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Ilona Andrews
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
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"Are you both drunk? I headed up the ladder and propped myself on a swing with no problem. 'Correction, dear brother. Hex held one finger in the air. 'We're exquisitely tipsy."
Kenya Wright
"Are you both drunk? I headed up the ladder and propped myself on a swing with no problem. 'Correction, dear brother. Hex held one finger in the air. 'We're exquisitely tipsy."
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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
Criss Jami
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
Gena Showalter
"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
Auliq Ice
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."
Jasper Fforde
"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."
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