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"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."
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"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."
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Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
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Personal Development
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
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Personal Development
"I got everybody on my side through comedy."
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Personal Development
"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
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Personal Development
"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."
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"I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage."
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"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."
Comedy
"Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable."
Expectation
"Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, respect me, I'm a respectable grown-up, and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death."
Death
"Being a grownup means assuming responsibility for yourself, for your children, and - here's the big curve - for your parents."
Being
"Because of Mozart, it's all over after the age of seven."
Age
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