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"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
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Personal Development

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
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Personal Development

"I got everybody on my side through comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
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Personal Development

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."
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Personal Development

"I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage."
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Personal Development
More

"Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index."
Satire

"The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully."
Mortality

"The known had been so long dwarfed by the unknown that confusion was an easy bedfellow."
Mystery

"I was in '78 recently," he announced. "I brought you this."He handed me a single by the Beatles. I didn't recognize the title."Didn't they split in '70?""Not always. How are things?"
Nostalgia

"How about this,' I said. 'We modify our plans with regard to ongoing facts as they become known to us, then remodify them as the situation unfolds. 'You mean make it all up as we go along?' asked Perkins.'Right."
Adaptability

"Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figure it out."
Meaning

"I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you."
Nostalgia

"I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecting thoughts into people's heads from a distance--I didn't know whether I actually liked him or he was just suggesting I like him, which was both creepy and unethical. In fact, the whole Remote Suggestion or "seeding" idea had been banned once it was discovered to be the key ingredient in promoting talent less boy bands, which had until then been something of a mystery."
Ethics

"Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms-of life, of love, of knowledge-has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath."
Storytelling

"Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this--in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer--and at your hands."
Conflict
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