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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
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"True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is..."
Morality
"I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats."
Reality
"Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figure it out."
Meaning
"For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas."
Ideas
"What is without dispute...is that the readers need [the BookWorld] just as much as we need them-to bring order to their apparent chaos, if nothing else."
Reading
"She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe."
Identity
"I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecting thoughts into people's heads from a distance--I didn't know whether I actually liked him or he was just suggesting I like him, which was both creepy and unethical. In fact, the whole Remote Suggestion or "seeding" idea had been banned once it was discovered to be the key ingredient in promoting talent less boy bands, which had until then been something of a mystery."
Ethics
"In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash."
Silence
"Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this--in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer--and at your hands."
Conflict
"I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you."
Nostalgia
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