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"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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Personal Development
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
Comedy
"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
Social
"Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal-all those places perfect for dying of exposure."
Survival
"Aw, you're nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?"
Humor
"Didn't you read the invitation? There's going to be a game in a little while--the big Twister game in an hour. Make sure you eat plenty of bread."
Humor
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
Observation
"Seriously, what is the purpose? Maybe I'd feel better about walking around speaking fluent jive if I knew there was a reason for it."
Purpose
"Don't be such a dumbass, Gabe. Koalas don't travel in herds. They move in heaps. Much like emus move in ripples, and kangaroos travel in photo-ops."
Humor
"Alice, winning means manipulation. It means taking people-people who may have helped you in the past, even people you care about-and using them without hesitation or regret. It means making decisions that would be viewed by any normal-thinking human being as cynical at best and dishonorable at worst."
Power
"I'm busy trying not to look like anything edible."
Humor
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