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Ted Levine

"Good comedy is ageless."

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"Good comedy is ageless."

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"Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous."

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"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."

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"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

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"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."

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"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."

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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."

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"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."

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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."

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Asa Don Brown

"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."

Explore more quotes by Ted Levine

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Ted Levine
"Take life slowly and deliberately, making sure to acknowledge the people who have helped you succeed along the way."
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Ted Levine
"I really enjoy comedy. It's a real challenge."
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Ted Levine
"About the best thing an actor can do when all is said and done is to make people laugh."
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Ted Levine
"Good comedy is ageless."
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