top of page
.png){kind=small}
"He's sort of a homeless horse, I said.'I'm leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won't be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don't want that horse in my apartment.'Who would put a horse in an apartment? That's dumb.'Where's the horse staying now?'My apartment.'I can always count on you to brighten my day, Ranger said. And he disconnected."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Comedy quotes
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."
"It's a great counter to doing the soap because it's a comedy. It's real physical comedy."
"About 25 years ago, I was in an apartment, and next door, they put on the radio, so I struck the wall with my fist, but they did not put the radio down. I took a tool and banged until I made a hole through the wall. It was like a comedy movie."
"There's got to be structure and great comedy. When you start with that, everything else falls into place."
Explore more quotes by Janet Evanovich
"My father hired you to protect me,' Ahmed said, 'not to go off chasing men.' Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. 'We think this guy killed Fred.' 'Who's Fred?' 'My uncle,' I told him. 'He's married to Mabel.' 'Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing."
"Ranger 'How's your mental health?' he asked. 'I heard about Soder.'Stephanie 'I'm rattled.''I have a cure.'Oh, boy.He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. 'I know what you're thinking,' he said. 'And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work.''I knew that.'He looked over at me and grinned. 'You want me bad.'I did. God help me."
"That's how you tell what a man's really made of. It's one thing for a man to be big and brave and kill a spider. Any man could do that. Trailin' after a woman when she's shopping for thongs and push-up bras is a whole other category of man. And then if you want to see how far you can go with it, you ask him to carry one of those little pink bags they give you."
"Fuck,' Ranger said.Ranger didn't often curse and he rarely raised his voice. The fuck has been entirely conversational. Like he was now midly inconvenienced. He put his Bates boot to the door and the door popped open.."
"Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: 'Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning."
"When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: 'She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank."
"I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. 'Killing is wrong. 'We kill chickens, Mr. Wexler said. 'We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers."
"Diesel sucked air. 'You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.''I'm not fondling you. I'm looking for the keys!''Could you look a little more gently? You're scaring my boys."
"That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies."
bottom of page