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"Avoiding humiliation is the core of tragedy and comedy."
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"Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke."

"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."
Explore more quotes by John Guare

"Does the New York City Ballet affect other places? Yeah, it lets people know they should come to New York."

"The life of a dancer is tragically short. What is remarkable about the New York City Ballet is that it makes us forget that. Because it keeps the ballet alive."

"The New York City Ballet is always about the realm of possibilities, the realm of what the human body can do, what the human spirit can do. And it's about listening, it's about listening to remarkable music and how we respond to that."

"I mean New York City is the financial capital of the world. It's where all the money passes through, the Dow Jones, whatever, that's where all the money goes."

"People go to see beautiful paintings to see how much they cost. Wow. The practical value is that it shows you what the human spirit can do."

"What we're dealt with hopefully is two arms, two eyes, two legs, a head, a heart. The variations, the extensions, the possibilities of the human body, what that can do."

"Does any art have a practical value? People love to talk about how expensive a painting is. That's the only way we can talk about paintings in this century."

"We live in a world where amnesia is the most wished-for state. When did history become a bad word?"
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