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Brooks Hays

"Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory."

Brooks Hays, American Politician
Comedy, Oratory
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"Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory."

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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."

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"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."

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"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."

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"I got everybody on my side through comedy."

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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"

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"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."

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"I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year."

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Brooks Hays
"Next to fried foods, the South has suffered most from oratory."
Comedy
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