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"I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage."
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"I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value."
Values
"I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy."
Comedy
"It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me."
Time
"Some venues are better run than others. Sometimes it's just maddening to deal with full dinners being served in front of your face. You can have a good or bad show anywhere."
Being
"I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport."
Love
"Anyone who bombs is my friend."
Friendship
"Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself."
People
"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all."
Now
"I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up."
Experience
"And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy."
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"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
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Personal Development
"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."
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Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
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Personal Development
"I've played comedy before but not that much. I mostly do get drawn to darker material."
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Personal Development
"I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy."
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Personal Development
"Good comedy is ageless."
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Personal Development
"Creative comedy is like growing geraniums in a mine field."
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Personal Development
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