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"He's called you, like, four times in the past week. And seriously, you should be embarrassed. I've never met anyone who has as much phone sex as you two. My eyes narrowed on her. "How do you know about the phone sex? "Duh. I pick up the phone and listen. I gaped at her."
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"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development

"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development

"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development

"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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Personal Development

"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development

"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development

"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development

"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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Personal Development

"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
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"We're gonna lie when the truth is hard? That's how this relationship is going to work? All righty, then."
Honesty

"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
Comedy

"That means life itself is a fairy tale. Like the characters, we all live and love and search for a happily-ever-after."
Fantasy

"Yeah, okay. You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his best undead buddies and stalk me through my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night-dinner buffet, because having organs is SO last year."
Satire

"It was common knowledge that big, bad city boys spent the bulk of their time sleeping around, coiffing their hair and posting pictures of food on the internet."
Youth

"She wasn't easy to be around at the best of times, and during the worst, well, she sucked flaming balls of mean...Still she wanted his eternal admiration."
Relationship

"The on and off thing is kind of annoying, isn't it? First with Cole, now with Gavin. "Maybe you need a tune up." I rolled my eyes. "I'll just pop into the supernatural ability repair shop sometime tomorrow." He grinned, his fingers tracing the line of my jaw."
Relationship

"You try almost dying, being chased, thenhopping in a car with a complete (horny)stranger."
Risk

"There are two kinds of people,' she'd said. 'Those who coast through life like ducks in a row, following one after the other, and those who ride the waves.' Tears spilled down my cheeks, and my voice cracked. "'Ride the waves, baby, and live. Live."
Adventure

"Need a triumph, his demon whined.I'll get you one. Promise.Sure?What are you, Doubt? Yeah, I'm sure."
Determination
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