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"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma.'You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin 'Tubby' Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I don't think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I considered the years in Hollywood nothing but an interim. What I always wanted was to be was a musical comedy star."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Harpo Marx looks like a musical comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"The directness of her question throws me. 'I don't know. Sometimes I think there are only so many opportunities...to get together with someone. And we've both screwed up so many times'- my voice grows quiet - 'that we've missed our chance.'Anna.' Mer pauses. 'That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.'But-'But what? You love him, and he loves you, and you live in the most romantic city in the world."
Romance
"They blinked in the dusk of the setting sun, a reminder that light was a recurring state."
Authority
"They left me. My parents actually left me! IN FRANCE!"
Neglect
"Cricket Bell. I smiled into my phone. 'How did you get so wise?"
Perception
"Because that's the thing about depression. When I feel it deeply, I don't want to let it go. It becomes a comfort. I want to cloak myself under its heavy weight and breathe it into my lungs. I want to nurture it, grow it, cultivate it. It's mine. I want to check out with it, drift asleep wrapped in its arms and not wake up for a long, long time."
Depression
"I'm beginning to think that maybe it's okay to be a blank canvas. Maybe it's okay that my future is unknown. And maybe, I say with another smile, 'it's okay to be inspired by the people who do know their future."
Struggle
"If I weren't standing next to your boyfriend, I'd be tempted to ask you out myself.'She blushes, and St. Clair bounds inside the box office and wrestles her into a hug. 'Miiiiiiiiine!' he says.'Cut it out.' Anna pushes him off, laughing. 'You'll get fired. And then I'll have to support your sorry arse for the rest of our lives."
Romance
"Phones are distracting. The internet is distracting.The way he looked at you? He wasn't distracted. He was consumed."
Attraction
"You ought to stop listening to stereotypes and start forming your own opinions."
Forgiveness
"The way he looked at you? He wasn't distracted. He was consumed."
Obsession
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