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"Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. 'How does he always get food stuck to him?' I asked Morelli. 'I don't know,' Morelli said. 'It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure.'-Morelli And Stephanie."
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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
"He's a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of guy. And though he's not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.William growled low in his throat. "Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone? He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. "Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya's the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. "William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel."
"The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain."
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
"Uh-oh, I hope he doesn't start rattling off dirty limericks next; she'll probably burn the hotel down."
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
Explore more quotes by Janet Evanovich
"I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since."
"Excuse me?' I said, palms down on the Formica tabletop. 'Coffee? I thought we came here for pie.' 'I don't eat the kind of pie they serve here.' I felt a flash of heat go through my stomach. I knew firsthand the kind of pie Ranger liked."
"My father hired you to protect me,' Ahmed said, 'not to go off chasing men.' Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on the Taurus. 'We think this guy killed Fred.' 'Who's Fred?' 'My uncle,' I told him. 'He's married to Mabel.' 'Ah so you're avenging a murder in the family. This is a good thing."
"Oh, for God's sake,' I said. 'Just give me the stupid thing.' I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. 'GPS,' Ranger said to Morelli. 'Probably I can find her breast without it,' Morelli said. 'But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it."
"Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: 'Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning."
"I don't have a lot of domestic instincts,' Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, 'but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down.'I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file."
"He's sort of a homeless horse, I said.'I'm leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won't be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don't want that horse in my apartment.'Who would put a horse in an apartment? That's dumb.'Where's the horse staying now?'My apartment.'I can always count on you to brighten my day, Ranger said. And he disconnected."
"On the bright side, I'm sure this isn't the last time you'll ever get firebombed, so maybe you'll have better luck next time."
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