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Exlpore more Comedy quotes
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
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Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
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Personal Development
"I wear so many disguises on the show that only a real comedy fan might spot me."
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Personal Development
"One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes."
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"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
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Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
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Personal Development
"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
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Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
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"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
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"I had to stop myself from laughing. Who needs help taking a pill?"
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Explore more quotes by Woody Allen
"Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Relationship
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?"
Dream
"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."
Life
"I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes."
Spiritual
"Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea."
Money
"I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics."
Relationship
"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
Laughter
"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."
Existence
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Night
"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."
Want
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