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"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Then my first film was something called Cannibal Girls, which sounds like a horror movie but was actually kind of a goofy comedy with horror elements. Like a horror spoof."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Now, if you have never been hit by a flying burrito, count yourself lucky. In terms of deadly projectiles, it's right up there with grenades and cannonballs."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You can't always go by the book, even in comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In a comedy it helps enhance things that were already there."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job."
Job
"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government."
Government
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
People
"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."
Love
"Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words."
Humor
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
God
"It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune."
Death
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib."
Parenting
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
Food
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
Life
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