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"Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As if I'd had time to drug it in the two milliseconds she'd let me out of her sight."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never watch comedies they suck if something sucks it sucks there isn't doubt about it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Have a chocolate-covered raisin, he said."They look like rat droppings, said the Chair.The Dean peered at them in the gloom."So that's it, he said. "The bag fell on the floor a minute ago, and I thought there seemed rather a lot."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There's always been physical suffering in comedy."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think comedy is more my instinct and more what I'm geared towards."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox."
Love
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
God
"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib."
Parenting
"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
Food
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
Life
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness."
Education
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
Car
"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage."
Food
"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job."
Job
"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."
Existence
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