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All Quotes Collection
"Younger workers should have more freedom to build their retirement nest egg."
17
"It's ironic, but until you can free those final monsters within the jungle of yourself, your life, your soul is up for grabs."
34
"Pick your enemies carefully or you'll never make it in Los Angeles."
39
"The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul."
45
"Chaos in the world brings uneasiness, but it also allows the opportunity for creativity and growth."
66
"If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain?"
47
"It may take practice to think more positively and more compassionately, but just as you must train a puppy to behave the way you want it to, you must train your mind to behave itself. Otherwise, like the puppy, your mind will just make a lot of messes."
39
"The thought you have now shapes your experience of the next moment. Practice shaping the moment."
42
"With the increased cost of gasoline, it doesn't appear that we're going to see a slowing of interest in mass transit. I think it's going to continue to grow."
44
"Every time a child says I don't believe in fairies there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead."
77
"It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it, you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have."
31
"It was hard to make fun of him because he seemed to have so much fun making fun of himself."
Fun,
33
"Releasing a record is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the promotion of the product, but you have to play the game if you are to have a chance of competing in the market place."
43
"People assume that because you have graced the same stage as the star act, in front of thousands, you must be reaping similar financial rewards. This is a complete fallacy."
43
"One moment you appear to be riding the crest of a wave, only to have the rug pulled away from you, bringing you back down to earth with a sickening thud."
43
"One lapse of judgment can cost and talent isn't everything. A huge slice of good fortune in needed to make it to the top, and without that element of luck, you've no chance."
36
"It's not what you play but what you leave out that makes the difference."
41
"Music is 10% exhilaration and 90% utter disappointment."
47
"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."
28
"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
22
"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
24
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers."
46
"The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice."
42
"The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates."
48
"The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat."
24
"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting."
27
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
42
"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."
23
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
27
"The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery."
42
"Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough."
48
"Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face."
42
"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."
32
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
12
"We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires."
38
"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number."
49
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
20
"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling."
31
"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
69
"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."
43
"What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers."
39
"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death."
47
"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail."
Duty,
62
"We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin."
32
"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."
25
"To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent."
40
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