"The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice."

Time, Doubt

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"The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice."

Exlpore more Time quotes

"Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"Time is standing still. We are measuring ourselves by how far we are going."

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"Life has become the future. Every moment of your life is lived for the future."

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"Summer's lease hath all too short a date."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

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"Forever, time is standing still. We are flying away with the wings of desire we call life."

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"Life is defined by time and seasons."

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"If you want to know the value of a minute ask the person who came to the train station or airport a minute late."

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"Past, I am letting you go. Future, I will see you tomorrow. Present, I love you, live in you, celebrate you, and will never let you go."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"The time at our disposal each day is elastic; the passions we feel dilate it, those that inspire us shrink it, and habit fills it."

Marcel Proust, French Author

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"When we live in the past, there is no future."

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Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"Maybe somebody finally shot the dog."

Sadness

"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail."

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"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."

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"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."

Competition

"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

Circumstance

"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."

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"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."

Grandparents

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."

Statistics

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."

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"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number."

Age