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Dave Barry

"We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin."

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"We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin."

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"Hungary is very similar to Bulgaria. I know they're different countries."

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"Nitrogen fertilizer is used on all crops produced in this country, but it is a key plant nutrient to produce corn a critical crop to Illinois farmers."

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"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country."

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"I'd come back after having served as ambassador to New Zealand and found that I had real concerns about the direction in which this country was headed."

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"In the wake of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, our nation has been put under considerable fiscal pressure."

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"If more politicians in this country were thinking about the next generation instead of the next election, it might be better for the United States and the world."

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"This debt crisis coming to our country. The wall and tidal wave of debt that is befalling our nation. Medicare and Social Security go bankrupt within ten years, we have a debt that is looming so high that in the last year of President Obama's budget just the interest payments on our debt is $916 billion dollars."

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Akiroq Brost

"In my judgment, if we had pursued this course, the zones would have been of short duration. England would have been compelled to take her mines out of the North Sea in order to get any supplies from our country."

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Akiroq Brost

"Egypt has suffered more ordeals than the other countries to get where it is."

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"Pope John Paul II not only visited Nigeria twice but stood by the country in its fight against dictatorship and injustice."

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Dave Barry
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
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Dave Barry
"As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse."
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Dave Barry
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
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Dave Barry
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."
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Dave Barry
"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."
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Dave Barry
"The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire."
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Dave Barry
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
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Dave Barry
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
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Dave Barry
"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."
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Dave Barry
"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."
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