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"We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin."
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"The nation can no longer afford to continue policies that hasten the flight of persons to the distant suburbs."
"The security of our country is not just a top priority, it's the top priority."
"Our country - whether bounded by the St. John's and the Sabine, or however otherwise bounded or described, and be the measurements more or less; - still our country, to be cherished in all our hearts, and to be defended by all our hands."
"Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."
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