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"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."
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"When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Go the extra mile to do the undone, but work within your limits, and in doing so also, don't be a coward to question things within your limit that are not all that right, and don't be too arrogant or proud or be filled with excessive knowledge to do things which might though be within your limit, yet out of limit, for you must live and leave nothing, but distinctive and lasting footprints!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Naturally, since I myself am a writer, I do not wish the ordinary reader to read no modern books. But if he must read only the new or only the old, I would advise him to read the old."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never give anyone the advice to buy or sell shares, because the most benevolent price of advice can turn out badly."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The first rule when you are in a hole is to ask for a hand out!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The advice that is wanted is commonly not welcome and that which is not wanted, evidently an effrontery."
Author Name
Personal Development
"O that men's ears should be To counsel deaf but not to flattery!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The fiend gives the more friendly counsel."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never let your education interfere with your learning."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
Society
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
Life
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
Humor
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
Society
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
Humor
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
Religion
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
Humor
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
Body
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
Computer
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