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"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."
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Exlpore more Advice quotes
"Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take."
"Seek counsel; though we are all skilled and experienced in many ways, no one can experience all that life has to offer in the limited time we are given in this world."
"Remember what I used to tel you when you were a little girl? 'A fool and her money soon part.' Current-day translation? Stop pissing away your assets at Bloomingdale's."
"My advice is keep your lips away from the spinning things."
"An extreme optimist is a man who believes that humanity will probably survive even if it doesn't take his advice."
"Children don't need much advice but they really do need to be listened to and not just with half an ear."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
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