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Dave Barry

"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting."

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"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting."

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Akiroq Brost

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."

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Akiroq Brost

"This land on which so many centuries have left their mark is merely an obligatory retreat for you, whereas it has always been our dearest hope. Your too sudden passion is made up of spite and necessity."

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Akiroq Brost

"In the legal respect, after the execution of the supposed incendiaries, the other half of Moscow burned down."

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Akiroq Brost

"Up to 90% of all inventions of the world comes from the Protestant world."

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Akiroq Brost

"And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history-money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery-the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."

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Akiroq Brost

"Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man. They die up to a point."

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Akiroq Brost

"What connexion can there be, between the place in Lincolnshire, the house in town, the Mercury in powder, and the whereabout of Jo the outlaw with the broom, who had that distant ray of light upon him when he swept the churchyard-step? What connexion can there have been between many people in the innumerable histories of this world, who, from opposite sides of great gulfs, have, nevertheless, been very curiously brought together!"

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Akiroq Brost

"Historian - a broad-gauge gossip."

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Akiroq Brost

"The world's battlefields have been in the heart chiefly; more heroism has been displayed in the household and the closet, than on the most memorable battlefields in history."

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Akiroq Brost

"If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music and of aviation."

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Dave Barry
"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."

Computer

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Dave Barry
"Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!"

Job

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Dave Barry
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."

Religion

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Dave Barry
"My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money."

Art

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Dave Barry
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."

Society

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Dave Barry
"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."

People

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Dave Barry
"The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice."

Time

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Dave Barry
"Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face."

Fun

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Dave Barry
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."

Society

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