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"The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television."
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"The television critic, whatever his pretensions, does not labour in the same vineyard as those he criticizes; his grapes are all sour."
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
"TV does a thing that film can never do. It takes you to a place that no novel written after the late 19th century can. You can just go through people's lives it's like a marriage."
"Savvy observers occasionally note television's resemblance to the weather: Everybody loves to complain about it, but nobody can do anything to fix it."
"I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book."
"A modern revolutionary group heads for the television station."
"Television probably has become the most evocative, widely observed signpost we have."
"I don't think any industry was ever as closely scrutinized and written about and constantly in the public eye as television."
"They put me on television. And the whole thing broke loose. It was wild, I tell ya for sure."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse."
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."
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