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"Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough."
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"It's not a slam at you when people are rude, it's a slam at the people they've met before."
"We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started."
"When people are taken out of their depths they lose their heads, no matter how charming a bluff they may put up."
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments."
"Few people at the beginning of the nineteenth century needed an adman to tell them what they wanted."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
"The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice."
"Oh, I'm not saying that alcohol is perfect. It has caused its share of problems. Russia is only one example."
"Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?'This translates roughly to: 'How the hell did these people win the Cold War?"
"Call me a proud American, if you want, but I truly believe that no other nation on Earth possesses the capabilities to put on a more powerful display of underwater mermaid patriotism."
"Passing the SAT: My personal theory is that it has to do with how much money you send them in the mail. I think the amounts they tell you to send are actually just suggested minimum donations - if you get my drift."
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
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