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"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail."
Duty,
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"Why was I chosen?''Such questions cannot be answered,' said Gandalf. 'You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have."
"When you've finished your own toilet in the morning, then it is time to attend to the toilet of your planet, just so, with the greatest care."
"Sons, any man who is considered a success in life owes a lot to society. We have been very blessed, my dear sons. We have to show our appreciation to our society for making that possible. A time will come when you will meet other Kamerunians who share the same vision for this land. I am advising you to make them partners in our common goals when that time comes. We shouldn't shy away from playing a formidable role in financing that political force that shall emerge. We must use our influence to ensure that it succeeds."
"I've never cheated on a lover. I'm faithful, always. But the war comes before anyone's feelings. Every time.Wow. Battle before love. Without a doubt, he was the most unromantic male she'd ever met. Even more so than her great-grandfather, who had laughingly burned her great-grandmother to death after she'd given birth to Gwen's grandmother."
"We require from buildings two kinds of goodness: first, the doing their practical duty well: then that they be graceful and pleasing in doing it."
"The negligence of a few could easily send a ship to the bottom, but if it is properly manned and every man does his duty, the ship can be safely brought to port."
"I must not forget that these coarsely-clad little peasants are of flesh and blood as good as the scions of the gentlest genealogy; and that the germs of native excellence, refinement, intelligence, kind feeling, are as likely to exist in their hearts as in those of the best born. My duty will be to develop these germs: surely I shall find some happiness in discharging that office."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
"If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'"
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
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