"What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers."

Emotional, May

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"What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers."

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"My heart gladdens, knowing someone think of at Christmas."

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"Sadness comes from expectations. To be happy, adapt to everything and expect nothing."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"There are not many things that are more powerful than love."

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"Self-respect is nothing but self-confidence."

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"May you find comfort and peace in every situation."

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"We live our lives with hope, intentions, and actions. Without hope, there will be no intention. Without intention, there will be no action."

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"If we fail to listen to music, we shall be miserable."

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"Passion will warm you for days, infatuation will warm you for months, but love will set you on fire for a lifetime."

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Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"Maybe somebody finally shot the dog."

Sadness

"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail."

Duty

"Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash."

Driving

"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."

Competition

"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

Circumstance

"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."

Building

"The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida."

Grandparents

"Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects."

Statistics

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin."

Fact

"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number."

Age