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"What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers."
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"One can find so many pains when the rain is falling."
"The hidden hand of contentment is in the rewards of the gratified. The hidden hand of bliss is in the rewards of the tranquil. The hidden hand of happiness is in the rewards of the elated. The hidden hand of joy is in the rewards of the jubilant."
"Love in fools is better than hate in the wise."
"If you get too close to the sun, you will burn; if you get too far, you will freeze: this is how it is with passion."
"Love is the greatest drug; joy is the strongest medicine; virtue is the noblest remedy; together, they are the greatest therapy."
"Love that hurts is better than hate that tickles."
"One who loves lives a thousand years in one day, one who hates only lives one day in a thousand years."
"Hate spreads in the direction it is blown, but love spreads in all directions."
"The universe acknowledges the value of your tears; for when it rains, it is shedding its own."
"When love enters your heart, hate is given an eviction notice."
Explore more quotes by Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
"The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example."
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
"Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?'This translates roughly to: 'How the hell did these people win the Cold War?"
"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
"Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators."
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