"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."

Now, Scientists

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"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."

Exlpore more Now quotes

"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now."

William Shakespeare, English Dramatist

Now, Tears

"When I was young there was no respect for the young, and now that I am old there is no respect for the old. I missed out coming and going."

J. B. Priestley, British Writer

Now, Old, Respect

"So, like I said, I will visit Jeffersonville more often because I now have a little getaway house up there."

Genevieve Gorder, American Designer

Now, Visit, Will

"Now I get to pick and choose exactly what I want to do."

Verne Troyer, American Actor

Now, Want

"Now the identification of individual sounds by phonetic observation is an artificial way of proceeding."

Roman Jakobson, Russian Scientist

Now, Observation

"The rich pay more in total taxes now than ever before - ever. It's true. Just like it's true that when the rich are convinced they're going to be taxed more, they spend less. And when the top few percenters don't spend, there goes all your spending, because they account for half of all retail spending."

Neil Cavuto, American Journalist

Now, Taxes

"All the classical genres are now ridiculous in their rigorous purity."

Karl Schlegel, German Philosopher

Now, Purity

"Old is always fifteen years from now."

Bill Cosby, American Comedian

Now, Old, Years

"I have more zits now than I did as a teenager. Stress zits."

Tiffani Amber Thiessen, American Actress

Now, Stress

"I got Jimmy Hall from Wet Willie and he also plays now with Hank Williams Jr."

Gregg Allman, American Musician

Now,

Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating."

Competition

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death."

Death

"Kakimi chertyami oni viigrali holodnuyu voinu?'This translates roughly to: 'How the hell did these people win the Cold War?"

History

"I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I'm definitely not religious, and I'm very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people's behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there's nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don't know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said 'If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.'This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson."

Religion

"The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition."

Society

"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."

Man

"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."

Purpose

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

Humor

"We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires."

Technology

"The Hawaiian language is quite unusual because when the original Polynesians came in their canoes, most of their consonants were washed overboard in a storm, and they arrived here with almost nothing but vowels. All the streets have names like Kal'ia'iou'amaa'aaa'eiou, and many street signs spontaneously generate new syllables during the night."

Language